You know how they always say, people go through mid-life crisis? I think I'm going through quarter-life crisis.It's a very lost feeling, really, really just searching for a direction.
In work; what do I love to do? How long do I persevere before calling it quits?
In love; how is a long term relationship supposed to feel? If there aren't anymore sparks, does it mean the love is gone? When and how does one decide to leave, or stay, for the belief in love?
With family; when parents decided that I'm old enough to listen to their problems, to take off my rose-tinted glasses. Why can't I stand my mama's constant talking, talking? Why can't I empathise with her problems, her loneliness? Do I have too many pre-conceived expectations about how she's supposed to be like? Is it that I'm scared of the thought that perhaps, perhaps I'm actually exactly like her?
Still, everything must start and end somewhere. After floating around too long, I realised I was starting to despise and dislike the person I'd become.
The first change came with actually taking an action to move towards one of my dreams, in this case was to sign up with UWA to further my studies, with plans to finish the last semester on-campus in Australia. Finally, after years of talking about it, it was like a fresh breath of air.
Then, it was deciding that I should give up on the things in life that are pointless for me to pursue; that leads to nowhere, really, but unhappiness. How do I know if what I'm doing now is going down that path? Hm. I believe this is something we always know for sure, deep down inside. Everything got easier once I made up my mind, and took an action. Like sending in my letter of resignation.
Maybe it's me, that I tend to procrastinate. But everytime I do take a step, it feels like a breath of fresh air, particularly when the move is true to my heart; that's good for my self-believe and self-confidence. And I love myself a little more for it.
Haircut! A load off my shoulders, refreshed! For the new challenges ahead in the path I've chosen.
My quarter-life crisis buddy. Spot what we did to ourselves yet..?
Pierced ears! Third piercing for me! Haa..
