爱的代价
歌手：
张艾嘉 专辑：
爱的代价还记得年少时的梦吗,
象朵永远不凋零的花
陪我经过那风吹雨打,
看世事无常,看沧桑变化
那些为爱所付出的代价,
是永远都难忘的啊
所有真心的痴心的话,
永在我心中,虽然已没有她
走吧,走吧,人总要学着自己长大
走吧,走吧,人生难免经历苦痛挣扎
走吧,走吧,为自己的心找一个家
也曾伤心流泪,也曾黯然心碎,
这是爱的代价
也许我偶尔还是会想他,
偶尔难免会惦记着他
就当他是个老朋友啊,
也让我心疼,也让我牵挂
只是我心中不再有火花,
让往事都随风去吧
所有真心痴心的话,
都在我心中,虽然已没有他
Dreamt on Saturday, July 21, 2007; 10:59 PM
1 Comments
Self-esteem
On the plane from Cairns to Sydney, Xueli and I were in a contemplative mood, discussing about matters close to our hearts.Xueli told me how it made her feel kind of sad that I don't seem to be that carefree girl anymore, who would wander around in short-sleeved or sleeveless tops without a care what other people thought.In the past, obviously I hadn't had much of a choice cos we were wearing school uniforms. Every morning when I dress, I kind of just avert my eyes from my arm, very ostrich-style. It's a daily pretend game. Pretend that people don't stare and kids don't point. Pretend that it's not awkward when we do pledge-taking every morning. Pretend it's ok. In a way, perhaps I've fooled everyone in my attempt to fool myself.Now, I admit that the public eye matters to me, and that I'm conscious of my looks. The in-your-face me has been rather tamed by society. I'm also more conscious about ensuring that people around me are comfortable.. Friends and loved ones do get rather worked up when rude people stare and mutter! But is that not a natural progression for most people as we all grow up?
We all dress to look and feel our best for the occasion. Feeling beautiful makes me happy! I would pick a dress to hug my figure in a slimming way and not emphasise my flaws. I pick shoes that make my legs look like they go on forever. I pick colors that bring out my natural rosiness. I would never crop my hair back to those weird hairstyles back in the AHS days. In the same way, I wear clothes that cover my arm.
Try not to see me as hiding away, because strangely, I feel that I'm emerging from my nutshell. I do see this change in a positive light; I've grown up to stop living in my little ostrich world of make-believe. I'm accepting who I am and making the most of things. There will always be limitations and short-comings in all of us. We are all simply good at some things and bad at others. I will always be lacking in some areas whilst exceling in many others. But that of course, doesn't mean that I never stop challenging my short-comings. It makes life more fulfilling. :)
Dreamt on Monday, July 16, 2007; 5:53 PM
1 Comments
Decisions
The changeable weather; the warm harbour.The flighty temptress; the dependable anchor.Always craving; always there.
The thrill of excitement; the safety of routine.The blind darkness; the guiding light.A leap of faith; a safety net.Worldly cynicism; child-like innocence.Dark selfishness; endless generosity.
Talked at; talking with.Loving; loved.
Dreamt on Tuesday, July 10, 2007; 6:56 PM
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Change
Recently we met up... Some things are ever the same, and yet we have all changed. I just read your blog, Nip.. And it made me sad. Sad that you're so far away and suddenly suddenly.. I sense that you seem to have matured so much more. Your posts are darker than before and there's a certain feeling of depression that affects me all the way across the distance.
Often I wonder, will the Oiying I next meet again be the same friend in my minds' eye, whom I miss so much? Will we still be the same silly people, who will do silly things together and be madly happy over it? Can we still talk heart-to-heart like we did before?
It's a secret fear that I've tried to leave unspoken in the hopes that if I don't say it, no one will be conscious and it will never happen. But I want to talk about it now.. To share because I want to find some comradeship if anyone feels the way I do. I don't want it to just creep up one day and overwhelm us all like a big tidal wave. Perhaps because so many things are hanging in limbo now.. Life feels out of balance. Work.. love... family. Friends like you all somehow seem like the only rocks in the stormy sea of life that the shipwrecked sailor - me - clings on in certainty that our love for each other is ever the same. Even if we are older, more cynical, have darker thoughts and much less innocence than when we frolicked in the sunshine back in those golden days, I know that I can still call anyone of you at 3am on a dark, depressed night.I suddenly thought of this song. It's one of those lovely things in life that mature like fine wine. Everytime I experience it again, it brings back this whole rush of nostalgia that everything has changed and yet, everything is ever the same.Vitamin C - GraduationAnd so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real cool
Stay at home talking on the telephone
We'd get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels
- Chorus -
As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever
So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can we ever find a job that won't interfere with a tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels
- Chorus -
We will still be friends forever
Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
Dreamt on Thursday, July 5, 2007; 8:01 PM
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