No matter how tough the task I think I'm rarely daunted or really brought down to my knees. But when I'm asked to down something that I just can't agree with and don't believe in, I find myself truly conflicted.

It's the most difficult of internal struggles for me because there's so many self-doubts floating around in my head. If so many others can do it, why can't I? Am I making up excuses cos i secretly feel inside that my capabilities are not up to the task? Am I not demonstrating a good can-do attitude in taking on new challenges? If I can't even accomplish this under the umbrella of a company, how can I ever hope to run my own company someday?

Today is one of those days when I feel like life has thrown over a tad more than I can handle. I suddenly feel that I'm at one of the hardest crossroads in my life.

Now that I'm not a part-time student cum working executive already, what are my plans for my career ahead? And now that I'm a 'degree-holder', can I fill these shoes and live up to the company's big expectations in the tasks they have of me?

No longer a daughter that's taken care of by her parents, but one who needs to take care of them. Not living a single's life about 'me' anymore, but learning to mould my life into that of a wife-to-be's role in 'us'. Not even quite having friends who are the same anymore as they too move into married lives.

Am I living out God's mission for me in life? What does it mean to be Christian, a true believer and to truly love God? Do I really want to live my life out in this nervous, humid, concrete jungle of a city?

What does it mean to be me these days..?